Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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