grandma shit on top of the toilet
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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