im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
