watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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