You're so nebulous sometimes
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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