I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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