What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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