I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The Olympian is in my bed
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