She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
