Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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