Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)

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(619): View more from California

Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.

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(406): View more from Montana

The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.

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(773): View more from Illinois

I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.

(773): View more from Illinois

Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?

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(402): View more from Nebraska

The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.

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(630): View more from Illinois

i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.

(1-630): View more from Illinois

nothing about this is right.

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(219): View more from Indiana

So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.

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(+61): View more from Australia

I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles

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(540): View more from Virginia

You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.

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