Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
