Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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