i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
