Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
