What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
and she was petting her beer can
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
