Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
