it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
