Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
