So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
