ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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