So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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