whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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