And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize