I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
