yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
