Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
