Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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