Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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