so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We left an ass print on the piano.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
