I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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