Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
