my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
