I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
