Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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