I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
