hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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