So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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