i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
