Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
