her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
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