If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
