so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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