I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
