4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize