what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
