How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
