he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
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