Having a random hookup so left but love u
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
