i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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