We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
