do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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