I think im going to throw up on grandma
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
