Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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