I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
