he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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