A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
