I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
