Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
