Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
