this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm sobbing to NWA
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
