PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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