What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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