Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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