mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
